Mutant superkitty terrorizes & hospitalises Connecticut residents.

'Lou,' the unstoppable, psychotic, six-toed housecat opened a can of kitty whuppass on Fairfield residents this week, prompting arrests and restraining orders, and leaving one Avon lady trapped in her automobile for an unspecified duration.

Crisis managers have descended upon the town in a bid to prevent further injury and mayhem, and provide psychological assistance to the hundreds of Pit Bulls in the area, who have apparently been mentally scarred by the experience of being upstaged by a fluffy housecat in the high-status, human-victim network news stakes.