Redneck Ghost Huntin'

I was born a raised a redneck, so I'd like to add a few. :)

Best advice you can give owners of haunted houses:
"Best put the wheels back on your place and move a new park"

Redneck ghost haunting emergency:
“We gots to head over to Doc. Porter’s. There’s a ghost in the outhouse again and it won’t let his misses in.”

Redneck Ghost debunking:
“We thought them there ghosts were knocking over our cows over in the middle of the night, turned out to just be some city kids... so we shot em’”

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Nathan D. Schoonover
PRSNE
Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow.
- on monument erected to Mark Twain & Ossip Gabrilowitsch

Just saw this.Too funny!

***Masquerading every day as a normal person is exhausting!***

I giggled like a champagne-disinhibited girl.

Actually, I think it's about time for a Redneck Ghost Huntin' TV show. Doesn't matter if it's a 'reality' show, or scripted.

If scripted, call it "Billy-Bob Goes Spookin'!" and follow the adventures of Billy-Bob (who discovers that his mullet hairstyle focuses subtle energies in the pilot episode) as he and his psychic (if narcoleptic) dog Moonshine travel North America in search of ghosts, psychobilly music, and “the world’s hottest chilli dog.”

In a typical episode, the (very) Reverend Horton Heat could (for example) guest-star and hire Billy-Bob to get to the bottom of the reports of a haunting in his favourite, local, bowling alley, providing many opportunities for Billy-Bob to narrowly miss getting eaten by the (haunted) pin-arranging robots, getting creamed by the (haunted) bowling pins that arrange themselves into demonic patterns when impacted, until he discovers that the deeper reason for the haunting is the (very haunted) killer bowling ball ‘Gutter Guts’ that is inhabited by the spirit of a dead bowling champ that was murdered on the 6th lane in the early hours before the 1955 All-State Bowling Championship.

The love interest for this episode could be played by ‘Janice,’ a beer waitress that is undecided whether to pour a Pabst Blue Ribbon over Billy-Bob on sight, or to invite him to her co-op free-love left-leaning ashram-commune to teach him he benefits of vegetarianism and tantra. “What’s tantric mean, Janice?” “Let me show you, Billy-Bob…”

Billy-Bob would get to the bottom of the problem, exorcise Gutter Guts, get paid, get laid, and gig with Horton Heat at the close of the episode.

Billy-Bob’s catch-phrase could be “Somethun’s bumpin’ and it ain’t me!”

"Billy-Bob Goes Spookin'!" ?
or maybe
"Amer'ka's Most Hauntededest"
How about
"The Bible Belt's spookiest Tater Cellar's"

This has some serious potential.
I envision a episode when a reporter from Weekly World News asks Billy-Bob how he got started Ghost hunting'. The rest of the show would be a flash back of Billy-Bob hitting hardware stores all over "Gator Gulch" trying to buy his Ghost huntin' tags and getting pissed off when no one can tell him what his "limit" is or when the season is over.

Physical reality is consistent with universal laws. Where the laws do not operate, there is no reality -- we judge reality by the responses of our senses. Once we are convinced of the reality of a given situation, we abide by its rules.

I resemble that remark!