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Bigfeet (bigfoots?) actually timeslipping primates?

 
By Max Szabo at February 6, 2007 - 4:50am | General

I've never seen a bigfoot, or sasquatch, or abominable snowman, or yeti, or bunyip or any other conspicuously large, humanoid, furry creature which didn't turn out to be some guy in a smelly gorilla suit. (I once came across two guys in a sweaty gorilla suit, but that was at camp, and I'm still trying to forget about it.) As it is, since we don't seem to have bones or a nice pelt or a skull from one of these beasties in the fossil record, I'm on the side of the extreme skeptics on this one.

More likely than not, they are some story passed down over the years, pointing to some parallel hominid from our own past. (Anyone keeping track of those pesky Hobbits down near Indonesia, and the paralells to local myths about subterranean baby-stealing 'little people'?) And maybe one day we'll decide that a certain extinct species was the source of the legend.

Thing is, with all the camera-phone-using kids, police cameras, satellite cameras, infra-red cameras, light-amplification systems, gun-toting hunters, extreme survivalists, paintballers, cross-country skiiers, freeballing paintballing cross-country skiiers and all the rest of the motley crew that makes up 21st Century non-urban life, we'd have found a BUNCH of these eight-friggin-feet tall fellows by now. And probably worked out the best way to BBQ them.

Unless, that is, they are phasing into (and out of) our timespace by some unknown means from the deep past...

...or deep future.

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That would be bigfoot

By Gerry Bacon on February 7, 2007 - 11:19am

Hi Max,

I understand your skepticism. I'm much that way myself.

IF, and that's a huge if, IF bigfoot exists, it is a flesh and blood creature, in my opinion, not an interdimensional waif.

There is some physical evidence to suggest these creatures are real. The problem is, none of that evidence is conclusive.

Jimmy Chilcutt has done some interesting work on prints. He is a fingerprint expert from Texas who actually printed all the great apes for his database. He's looked at cast prints and found what he believes to be dermal ridges. Now, there is another scientist, although I can't remember his name, who is able to manufacture pliable castings of his own feet and the process leaves what appear to be dermal ridges, so many skeptics discount Chilcutt's analysis. Chilcutt himself has admitted that these casts look very real. Yet they don't explain a certain set of prints that Chilcutt looked at that were from the same animal, showing identical dermal ridges, found 100 miles and twenty years apart. These prints also show healed over scar tissue.

Most photos are blobsquatches and nothing more.

There is also Dr. Henner Fahrenbach who claims to have developed what he calls a 'Gold Standard For Presumptive Sasquatch Hair', although I personally believe his standard is premature. From all I can see, the characteristics he uses are also found, with varying degrees of rarity, within the human population. In other words, he has yet to successfully rule out human origin for these samples.

You also have the Skookum cast, a supposed body print of a sasquatch. Some claim it an elk but the jury is still out on this one.

So far, the Holy Grail of sasquatch-dom is still the Patterson/Gimlin film from '68. Even that is inconclusive as the camps on both sides of the issue make pretty strong cases. Myself, I don't see a man in a suit but I'm reluctant for some reason to say, "It's a real bigfoot."

As for one not being killed, there are actually several reports of bigfoot being shot and killed, although the body was never recovered. Actual events or tall tales? I can't say. In the Ape Canyon incident from 1924, the alleged shooting resulted in the bigfoot falling off a cliff. Another incident was a young man shooting one after mistaking it for a moose. When he walked up on the body, he realized it wasn't a moose and was afraid he would be in trouble, since he was poaching and didn't know what he had just killed. This story didn't come out for decades as the man kept quiet about it until in old age. Naturally, he took someone back there but nothing was found...too much time had elapsed.

Unfortunately, these stories are just that...stories. They are unverified so really mean nothing. Yet the encounters, if you care to believe them (and many are outright, easily identifiable hoaxes) continue to come in every year.

So, is bigfoot real? I don't know. I sure wouldn't bet a huge amount of money on it. But I'm not ready to write it off just yet. But if it does exist, I'm betting it's flesh and blood.

Sorry to bore you with the long post.

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Don't forget the 'Evil Genius Post-Effect' possibility.

By Max Szabo on February 8, 2007 - 1:05am

Interesting detail there, Gerry, thanks.

We also should consider the possibility that an evil genius scientist in the early 20th century selectively bred a race of atomic supermen to conquer the world and, before his vile plans for global domination were able to be realised, he was thwarted in his efforts thus leaving the remnants of his (increasingly) hairy servitors to roam the Earth, in defiance of the laws of God, nature, justice, the American Way, and good taste and/or smell.

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I didn't forget...

By Gerry Bacon on February 10, 2007 - 9:33am

...of course, the problem is that evil genius scientists traditionally flaunt all laws and are notorious for having bad taste.

By the way, your description of these atomic supermen bent on conquering the world also describes Hillary Clinton...which makes me wonder, does she consort with Sasquatch?

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